If you are unable to live with your family, even for a short time, it can be a very scary and uncertain time for you. We want to help you make sense of this separation and to help you adapt to living in a strange place with people you do not know yet.
We hope the information below can help to answer some of the questions that might be on your mind.
Why do I have to go into foster care?
Children and young people live in foster care for all sorts of reasons. It is not because of anything you have done. Sometimes, adults have to make sure you are safe, happy and looked after which might mean living away from your family home for a while.
If you have to live with foster carers, your social worker will be able to explain in more detail why this is and will help you to keep in touch with your own family in ways that feel safe and comfortable for you.
Foster carers are people who care about children and young people. They are there to welcome you into their home, to look after you and to help you feel safe. They know what children need to help them feel safe and happy and will understand that everything will feel different for you, especially at first.
Your foster carer will learn about you and what you need from the adults in your life, but we know that you are the only person who really knows what it is like to be you. Try not to be nervous about letting your foster carer know what you do and don’t like, and what they can do to make it easier for you to start to settle in.
Foster carers are carefully picked to look after children and young people, and they want to take very special care of you and make you feel safe and happy.
What does my social worker do?
Your social worker is a person who is there for you. They are there to help you and to listen to what you are worried about. They will talk to you about:
- why you are living with foster carers
- how you can stay in touch with your family
- what pocket money you will get
- any worries or problems you have
They are there to answer any questions you have and, if they don’t have the answer, they will try to find out for you. They will come and see you regularly in your foster home and you will have their phone number so you can phone them when you want to ask them anything. – is this practice or up to the worker?
A foster home is just an ordinary home. It might be in the town or in the country, but you will have your own room, or, if you have a brother or sister, you might share a room with them. You will always have a place to keep your own important and special things.
When you arrive, your foster carer will ask you about things you like to do so that they can start to get to know you and make you feel welcome, like what your favourite foods are and how you like to relax.
Your foster carer will also explain the routines and rules in their house so that you know what is happening and what they expect from you. These might be different from your life at home, and it may take you a bit of time to get used to them. You can discuss these with your social worker too.
Your social worker will tell you all about your foster family before they take you there. Just like any family, all foster families are different.
They may have their own children, or there may be other children who live with them because they need to spend some time away from their families too.
They may be a couple or a single person on their own. They may have no pets, or one pet or lots of pets.
Sometimes it can be for only a few days or weeks and other times it can be for longer.
We want children to be safe and happy with their own families whenever that is possible. We will always be working with parents to look at what needs to happen to make home a safe and happy place for their children to return to.
Your social worker will be able to tell you what is happening with your family and what the plans are about what happens next.
Will my family know I am safe?
Yes. Your social worker will still be in touch with your family all the time and they will make sure that your family hear how you are doing.
There may be ways you can be in touch with your family yourself such as by phone or text message which you can talk to your social worker and foster carers about.
When you go and live with your foster family you will have a care plan. This is your plan, and it tells everyone what you need to keep you safe, healthy and happy. It says when you can see your own family, what support you need at school and what kind of things you like doing. e.g. hobbies and clubs
Your social worker will talk through your care plan with you and answer any questions you have.
Will I be able to stay with my brothers and sisters?
We will try our very best to find a foster carer with a big enough house to keep you and your siblings together.
Sometimes we cannot find a place with enough bedrooms, so we will make sure that you are as close to each other as possible and that the adults help you to see each other regularly.
You will likely have been through a lot of change when you move into foster care and change is often scary. Your foster carer is there to listen to your worries, so you can talk to them about what you are scared about, and they will try to help you. Or, if you are still getting to know your foster carer and are not sure about talking to them yet, you can ask to see your social worker who will come and talk to you. You can also get help from some of the helplines listed below.
Your social worker will tell you what you will be able to take with you. You will be able to take pictures and your favourite toys or books, the things that are important to you and make you feel comfortable.
Your foster carer will help you if you don't have something that you need.
Can I still see my own family?
We know that it is be very important for you to see your family. We call this family time, and your social worker will explain when you will get to see your family and how often. This will also be in your care plan.
Every child and parent has a right to family time, and your social worker will work with your family to make sure that this is a safe and happy experience for you.
If there is anyone in your family that you do not want to see, please tell your social worker.
What if I don’t like my foster home?
It can be hard staying away from home and sometimes it takes time to settle in. Try and talk to your foster carer or social worker, because they are there to help you and they want you to be happy.
After you have been with your foster family for a month? you will have what is called a Review Meeting, where you will be able to say how you are feeling, what you do and don’t like.
If you have any problems in your foster home, you need to your social worker how you are feeling. If you are not going to the meeting, you can ask your social worker to speak up for you at this meeting. It is helpful if they know this before the meeting!
If you don’t feel happy talking to your foster carer or your social worker, here are some other people you can talk to who will be able to help:
Other useful numbers
- Who Cares Scotland helps young people like you who are in care. They can be contacted free on 0330 107 7540
- Childline is a 24-hour phone line where you can speak to someone if you are really scared or worried about something. They can be contacted free on 0800 1111
What are my rights while I am in foster care?
If you ever feel that someone is taking away any of your rights, please do not be shy about speaking up. Nobody has the right to deny you these things.
You have the right to:
- be safe, secure and protected
- be listened to and treated equally and fairly
- information, advice, healthcare and an education
- enjoy your religion and culture
- any help you need to live as independently as possible, if you have a disability
- know why you live in a foster home and when you’ll next see your family
- trust that your privacy is respected and that personal information about you should only be given to others who really need to know
You can find out more on the Your Rights page